I don’t understand how I was so used to being miserable.
Looking back, I shake my head at it all. I remember this day last year clearly. The emotions, the rain drops, the fighting. July 1 of 2016. I remember how empty and sad I felt. And I remember feeling like the rest of my life would feel like that.
It was one of our bad days, I’ll admit. It was also one of our last. The end of the end. Fourteen days later I left. Fourteen days later, he let me.
I talked to Kels about feeling like these posts are just me waving around my dirty laundry for everyone to look at. But these are just chapters of my life. They happened, and they affected who I am today.
It is so hard to convey how one can feel a mixture of resolve and sadness; of being healed, but having both good and bad memories sneak up and poke needles in your heart.
This isn’t much of a post. It is just something I think that I needed to type out, get out of my system.
I guess the important thing is that you can acknowledge that sometimes, it stills hurts.
Feel the pain. But don’t live there.